By His Grace.
Long time no see fitness friends.... I have been MIA with my blog posts because I've been working on balancing work, softball, family, and my marketing/media but unfortunately I haven't done the best job at keeping the marketing/media in the mix. However, I made some time today and I promise I will continue to write blog posts as more ideas come to me (they may just be spaced further apart than I had intended).
As for this post, my topic, or reasoning behind writing it is actually because of my nurse. My nurse that happened to wake me up at 5:30am this morning when I was told I could sleep till 6am so frankly at this very moment I'm quite tired and a little crabby, however extremely grateful to be at such a wonderful hospital. Which now that I think about it, most of you may not know why I am in the hospital right now so let's backtrack and get back to what got me to where I am in this very moment...
As some have known, I had been seizure free for actually TWO YEARS (if you follow me closer on Facebook) but if not, most who have read my previous blog 'My Story' knew that I was nearing my two year mark. I MADE IT! Two years without one single seizure. When I get asked to describe the feeling in words it's hard to come up with anything other than undeserving but eternally grateful. Even though I am in the hospital right now, I will never forget what it has felt like to come this far, and I can't wait to experience the many more milestones in this journey of my health I will get to.
Anyways, Memorial weekend I had went to a baseball tournament with my sister and her best friend. I had been so busy with softball, work, and training that it was so nice to go out and do something where I could finally just watch some ball and relax with some really special people. I was sober cabbing for my sister and her friends that weekend, so I was not under any influence. My sister was back at our vehicle and I was with my sister's friend when I noticed I didn't feel well. From what I remember, I felt dizzy, warm and oddly enough "fuzzy" and I just wanted to lay down. I didn't really expect anything out of what my ordinary had become - the heat was getting to me and I just needed some more water and to lay down for a bit? I made my way to the vehicle where fortunately my sister was at and I had told her I was going to lay down for a bit. She had another friend get me some water and just sat by me waiting for the water to arrive when it happened.. She had been talking to me the entire time and then I stopped responding. Her friend made it back and that's when they both realized, I was having a seizure. At this point my sister was terrified, calling my parents and trying to make sense of what was going on again. I don't believe anyone expected this to come again but we also knew it was a possibility. The ambulance was called and it was thought that I may have had two seizures in a row, and then due to the fact it was later at night, I had fallen asleep and "came to" in the morning.
Waking up the next morning, I just knew. It's difficult to explain but I just knew I had a seizure. I was sore and I wasn't as strong as I usually felt (gripping things, walking,etc.) I believe this was one of the first seizures I have had that I didn't fall. I lost consciousness but since I made it back safely to the truck to lay down, gravity couldn't catch me the way it had most other times. I call this Grace. You know the kind that we find in the Bible.
In Ecclesiastes chapter 3 Solomon wrote:
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted. A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up. A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing. A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away. A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak. A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace."
So, in God's Grace each dawn is a gift and each day is a miracle.
Here I am, gifted with today, being in St Mary's Hospital, surrounded by an amazing staff of nurses and doctors, with the constant presence and reassurance of Jesus Christ by my side. Like most other times I have been in the hospital, the doctors and nurses want to do anything they can to provoke a seizure to happen. I'm hooked up to 32 different patches and cords on my head (EEG), a patch watching my heart activity (EKG), and an IV ready to be administered upon having a seizure. The most common strategy they use is sleep deprivation. They have me stay up until 2am and wake me up at 6am. This morning a nurse technician woke me up so she could fix a few of my EEG cords that had been a little messed up while sleeping. She saw my tattoo and asked me about what it entailed. My tattoo is a reminder of the constant faith I need and have because of my health. I explained a little bit to her and she then proceeded to ask me about my past and ultimately "my story." She told me I should truly consider writing a book, even something little, just so other people experiencing any struggle with seizures or any obstacle, whether it be medical or not, can relate somehow.
That is my hope; that somehow someone who needs a reminder, a glimpse of faith, or an understanding behind God's decisions in their life can read this and realize, Jesus is more alive than He ever has been in your life. By His Grace and His only, you are here today with purpose. It may be a purpose and a reason you don't understand, but it's one that someone sees and someone else can learn and grow from. It is one that someday you will look back on and remember that it was "a time of purpose under the heaven."
Today, my fitness friends, is a miracle. Today is a beautiful day. Go out and enjoy today. Meet new people, work hard, take care of your body, laugh, make some new memories, and most importantly, live today by the Grace of God.